Tag Archives: father

M&M Time

So tomorrow is my first day back to work after 4 days off. Rachel had to go back to work on Tuesday , so I was lucky enough to have one on one time with Max. Because of work, school, sports, and life in general, these moments of one on one time are all too infrequent. I’m genuinely bummed, and will really miss being able to spend the whole day with Max tomorrow.

Instead of fun trips to the park, playing board games, swimming, bowling, skating, and working on projects around the house, I’ll be back to “slaying the dragon” at my desk at work. Doing uninspiring stuff like monitoring routers, installing software and deploying new servers and replying to e-mails. It’s very sad that in this “modern age”, in order to provide for our children, it often means spending lots of time away from them. No wonder society has so many problems.

I’m fortunate that my work schedule is pretty flexible. And I probably get to spend a lot more time with Max, than other parents. But since these moments where we genuinely enjoy each others company are so fleeting, it seems like there is never enough. I know the days when I am annoying, or embarrassing to Max are just around the corner. So the fact that Max loves spending time with me, and me with him, is very special to me.

One of the things I love most about spending time with Max, is listening to him talk. I get a huge thrill when he asks questions, and shows interest in how things work, and how he tries to get a better understanding about the world around him. His curiosity is so interesting to me. I’ve heard people say that parenthood is as much of an education for the parent, as it is for the child. And I didn’t quite know what people meant by that at first, but now I totally get it.

Jamming with Dad

You know how there are certain songs that remind you of a person? Maybe an old love, a childhood friend or a lost loved one? A few years back, Bruce Springsteen released a song called Devils & Dust. There is a great harmonica solo in the song, and it reminds me so much of my dad. Some of my earliest memories of my dad is when he would sit by the stereo, playing a harmonica along to the music. It was pretty amazing because he could hear the first verse of a song and by the 2nd verse, he could play the whole song. He had that gift where he could play music by ear. 

When I hear the harmonica solo during Devils & Dust, I get the chills. It reminds me so much of my Dad. I’m glad I share the same passion for music my Dad had. Our taste in music is quite different, but the passion is the same. Max seems quite into music as well, so I hope music means as much to him as it meant to me and my dad.

I thought the song was so pretty, so I looked up the chords, and was pleasantly surprised the whole song is just a combination of 5 chords. C, D, A, Em and G. Chords I know how to play on the guitar. Ironically, during the harmonica solo, there is a section where the chords go from D to A back to D. That’s right, it spells out Dad. Sometimes when I play the song on guitar and Bruce plays the harmonica solo, I pretend like it’s my Dad playing and the two of us are jamming.

I hope someday, when I’m long gone, Max will hear a song, and it will remind him of me. Make him remember a sweet childhood memory, and all the fun times we have had together. 

Are there any songs that remind you of someone?


Here’s a link to the song: Devils & Dust

Complete Turnaround

Since I’ve become a father, my outlook on life has changed quite a bit. One of the biggest viewpoint changes for me has been about war. Before Max was born, I guess I never saw soldiers as sons and daughters, mothers and fathers. They were sort of like toy soldiers to me. Disposable. Pawns in a game.

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for parents to see their children drafted and sent overseas during WWII. How scary must it have been for these 18 year old kids to be thrown in the middle of hell. I supposed back then, kids grew a lot faster and were forced to be “men” at an earlier age. My Godson is about to turn 16, and I couldn’t imagine him being in a warzone in 2 years. He’s still so young and fragile.

Maybe it’s selfish of me, but there is now way I would ever want to see Max drafted or go off to war. If he grows up and chooses to serve in the armed forces, I think I could accept that. I would hope he would choose more of a surveillance or supporting role rather than being in the front lines of battle.

I used to think war was a necessary evil. Now I just view it for what it really is, evil.